TVSF - The Very Special Forum!

courtesy of Enchanted Reverie, from Louisiana:


To be a happy camper, remember:

- A tuba placed on your picnic table will keep campsites on either side vacant.

- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm, but eating a hot enchilada works just as well and is less dangerous.

- You can compress the diameter of your rolled-up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.

- A two-man pup tent should not be used either by two men or a pup.

- A potato baked in coals for an hour makes a good meal. One baked for three hours makes a good hockey puck.

- In emergency situations, you can survive by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic in your underwear.

- A large carp can be used for a pillow.

- You can get even with a bear who steals your food by going to his favorite stump and eating the ants.

- The guitar of a noisy teenager makes excellent kindling.

- You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a garbage bag with two geese.

- You'll never get lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

- Bear bells are convenient for campers in grizzly country. (The tricky part is getting them on the bears.)

Ha ha ha

more outdoors humor from Enchanted Reverie:

10 CLUES THAT YOU'RE AT A BAD CAMPGROUND
1. The campground partitions off the campsites with left-over FBI crime scene tape.
2. The lake ripples when a toilet is flushed.
3. The campground name, when translated, means "Condemned."
4. Your assigned campsite number is simply "the swamp."
5. The availability of the camp showers is determined by studying the clouds & guessing when it will rain next.
6. The scary campfire stories are all true and happened on site recently.
7. The guy at the campsite next to you looks alarmingly like Sasquatch.
8. He "accidentally" sits on your camera before you can get a photo of him.
9. He "accidentally" kicks your cellular phone into the lake before you can call the National Enquirer.
10. You wake up to find a bull dozer outside your tent and a guy standing beside it with permits to built a highway right where you're standing.

Ha ha ha

Outdoors jokes are more fun then you might belive.

WHODATHUNK?

During a lunch break on a hike a few years ago, a woman in our group pulled a nifty-looking plastic item from her rucksack. It was blue-and-silver in color, and shaped like a banana. A part of me wanted to say: Are you sure that you want us to see this? And there were a few snickers from some hikers who weren't able to maintain 'poker faces'.

Then the proud owner opened it up. We were slightly disappointed that there were no batteries inside. But there was a banana. Would you believe a squish-proof banana container?